Trite predictability at it's finest.

I'm sorry if it reeks of sarcasm in here. Reeking like an animal control vehicle picking up road kill on a scorching mid-summer's day (in Arizona, during monsoons. This is where Webster composed his definition of rotten).

It's all I can do to keep my eyes open now. I just forced myself to endure another episode of 'Smash'.

Every scene is trite and predictable, every story line is trite and predictable, every character reaction is trite and predictable, every music number is trite and predictable, the entire show is trite and predictable! Why do I force myself to sit through such monotonous, shitty garbage TV?

Why?

Why why why?

I will admit, it's because of their ties to Marilyn.
Typing that just now made me nauseous and made me feel like a complete traitor! This will be the last episode I watch of this steaming pile of vomitous, crap TV that I ever force myself to sit though.

It's enough that Monday's suck ass (yet another trite predictability) but why end such a day by masochistically chaining myself to the couch, duct taping my eyes open (whilst rolling them at every scene), bracing my head at an angle where I have to see the television and cuffing my hands down so I can't plug my ears? Because of the love I feel for my dear girl.

I
     HAVE
                     HAD
                                  ENOUGH!

Enough of the exploitation! Enough of the wretched, desperate, grasping ties to Marilyn (I have picked up on EVERY one of them... snore... yawn... can you hear my eyes rolling?) that lure the less educated to this show.  It is due to my over 25 years of research and exploration of the person behind the legend that I despise the premise of this show.
Anyone who has a working brain and who can thoughtfully and logically process the infinite volumes of information available about Marilyn, anyone who has a human heart and soul and who wants to be remembered as the person they strove so hard to become would be insulted, yes... nauseated at the mere thought of being portrayed as Marilyn is in this show.

Megan Hilty, you are gorgeous, talented and have a voice I would sell my soul for, but Marilyn?

YOU
        ARE
                NOT!!!!

I know you're doing your job, but this is not good. Forgive me for saying so, but this is just not right. Is it that you're being directed to portray Marilyn as a campy, dumb, flouncing, floosy (whoever this director asshat is needs to learn how to read an actual book, not a website (haven't you heard? not everything on the internet is true? <:-O)? Have you read anything besides the prescribed information you're handed about Marilyn? I'm not going to recommend anything - your job is to research, process and portray the best and most accurate information available about a character you're playing and perform, to the best of your abilities, your interpretation of this character.

Tone it down honey!  Forego the belting, the 'jazz hands' and eye-rolling, cupie-doll schmaltz that you're depending on (or being directed to play)!
Marilyn was a character, yes... she was, above and beyond that character, A HUMAN BEING! Like you, she wanted to be a great actress, aspired to be taken seriously and regarded and exhaulted more for her acting talent than for her looks. Keep this up and your trite and predictable fate will be that of just another gorgeous blonde, who can sing, act (a little) and who'll do 'anything required' to be taken seriously.
Look in the mirror and see 'Marilyn' staring back... think about it. Thoughtfully plan with integrity and respect how you proceed.

Candied Ginger

This is just about the most awesomest thing I've cooked up in my lab... I mean kitchen. (click link to follow spicy commentary).

I'm not a candy maker. The thought of handling lava temperature sugar terrifies me. However, after my most recent attempt at making ginger snaps and the banana-cranberry-oatmeal muffins (spiked with ginger), I figured that it was time to throw caution to the wind, 7 or 8 beers down my gullet and dive head first into ginger candy land.


As I am a devoted student of the master, Alton Brown, and having seen nearly every episode of Good Eats, I knew his recipe would be easy to follow and pretty much idiot proof. The recipe can be found here: Candied Ginger
I'm not an idiot in the kitchen - I pride myself on being able to skillfully create delicious dishes with little to no blood-shed, singeing of skin or loss of eyebrows. I am a novice at candy making and dealing with sugar napalm.

Banana Cranberry Oatmeal muffins

Banana Oatmeal Cranberry muffins:
This is by far my favorite muffin recipe, followed to the letter it will produce some mighty tasty muffins that are easy to cram into one's face whilst commuting 45 minutes to work. They are well accompanied by lovely coffee, tea, milk and beer (yes, beer. If you like muffins in the morning and beer in the morning, then yay us!)
It's Sunday so I baked - and experimented.
(click to follow link for the results)

Silent Gray Streak

I opened the back door to let the dogs in, all of a sudden a gray streak shoots out the door. All I hear is 'meow' which is cat for 'vroom!'

Yyyaaaaaaawwwwnnn... Smash was on last night

Let's start this one with a heavy and sad sigh.

I soooo wish I could love this show.  I really enjoy the past work of all the actors in the cast, plus the show is based on their attempts at portraying, in a Broadway play, one of my favorite ladies of all time, Marilyn.  I adore Debra Messing, Jack Davenport and Anjelica Houston, the fact that they're in the cast is a huge part of my attraction to this show.  Anjelica alone would draw me to anything.

That being said I find the show irritating at a molecular level - yes, I am biased.  And flagrantly so!  I've been a devoted fan of Marilyn Monroe since I was 12 years old (so 26 years... you do the math).  I've read dozens of books, hundreds of articles, watched every documentary and movie ever produced, viewed every YouTube clip of our dear girl's appearances on the Jack Benny Show, Person to Person, etc.  I wouldn't presume to call myself a expert level scholar about Marilyn, but ask me anything and I bet I'll be able to provide you with an accurate response.

So, here I go, sharing selfishly, my unabashedly biased opinion of this show - I loathe their use of Marilyn.  The word 'use' is key... this show could be about the behind-the scenes production of any Broadway play, yet some asshat producer (who smells opportunity and dollar signs) thought  'Hey, let's ride the wave of the resurgence of Marilyn's popularity and make a TV show based on some Broadway producers...' blah blah blah...

 Here's how I see this show playing out...the blonde chick (Ivy) is going to die, or disappear, under mysterious circumstances, just like Marilyn (eyes rolling).  Katherine McPhee's character (who'll probably be the understudy) will have taken over the role, get rave reviews... yada yada yada.

Ivy's fate will play out in one of any trite predictable ways:
1. She'll wind up pregnant (having screwed the director) and he'll be an insensitive bastard about it.  Ivy will have to make a difficult decision and possibly choose to have an abortion.  BUT... we'll never know for sure.  We'll see Ivy going through some terse, pensive moments, then walking away (perhaps in an ode to the movie 'Niagara' - shot from behind, wearing a light blue suit, mimicking Marilyn's walk) and disappearing. No one will know what really happened to her (Ah ha! Season cliffhanger!).
Or...
2. Ivy, being kind of well known in the Broadway circuit, won't be able to go to a professional, safe place to have the abortion for fear of being recognized (and the unfortunate stigma attached to a woman making that choice). She'll wind up going to some seedy, filthy place, get sick and die. Leaving everyone she knows wondering 'How did she die?'.  There'll be pill bottles (sleeping pills, muscle relaxers, amphetamine-type pills, anti-biotics, etc.) found in her apartment (see the link here?) - there'll be the inevitable tragic suppositions about her state of mind... blah blah blah.  The audience will know that she had been taking all those pills because she's sick and injured from the botched abortion, but no one in her world will know - except the insensitive bastard director. And probably Karen, in whom Ivy will confide... then Karen will have her own torturous moments dealing with the insensitive bastard director, knowing full well what Ivy went through and how the director is involved. (Ah ha! Season 2 storyline)
Or...
3. She'll confront the director, insist on having the baby and/or will threaten to divulge their present predicament to the public and producers who have invested and already spent millions. He'll get in contact with some 'friends in high places' and poof! No more Ivy.  There'll be a death scene (probably staged by the 'friends') with the obligatory pill bottles on the night stand, phone in hand, nude on the bed... (see another link here? and yet another possible storyline for Season 2 - and yet another way to draw in more fair-weather fans?).  Yyyyyyaaaaaaaawwwwwwwnnnnn.

I yawn because I can see any of these scenarios coming from 40 miles across the desert during a sand storm!

And now for my tirade about why I am so biased and regard this show with such disdain...

I hate the way Marilyn is used in this show and portrayed in 'play scenes' - one scene in particular is the 'baseball number'. Christ!  It took every ounce of restraint in me not to throw the remote control through the TV during that scene.  I am not a conservative person and am not easily offended, but that was disgusting - the choreography, salacious lyrics and slovenly, bouncy, over-sexed-tramp presentation of Marilyn baiting her hook for Joe just about made me vomit. Yes, it's a Broadway interpretation and presentation of a personality and an 'occurance' in her life, but this is revolting!  Hey, 'Smash' researcher - READ A BOOK!!!  Read all of them and you'll see this scene is WROOOOOOOOONNNGGGG!!! That's not how their relationship started, she didn't bait any hooks - he pursued her. This is not just insulting on an intellectual level, it's insulting to Marilyn and anyone of the zillions of her deeply devoted fans who were lured by her name being linked to this show (Yes, I'm one of them). Okay, this is some, glittery,  super fun, flitty Broadway dance scene but really????!?!?!?! - YEEESH!!!

YOU production, idea, writer person, should live the life Marilyn did, walk in her shoes and try to live a 'normal' life under the unforgivable microscope of 'celebrity' existence - maybe you'd think twice about this "brilliant" idea and the consequences of the tabloid portrayals (i.e. headline-grabbing, and salaciously misinterpreted events of your own life) of who you are and the way you choose to live and focus the 'play' on something/one else.  But Marilyn's too easy and attractive a subject, am I right? Easy to attract viewers, fans and fair-weather-friends (of Marilyn's) to the show that's only about a Broadway play and it's producers and cast. I see right through your nonsense and I am calling BULLSHIT!

Marilyn was beautiful yes.  She knew (through years training and education) how to make the most of it, yes.  She was never flagrant or overtly over-the-top (i.e. in your face - to use a modern euphamisim) with her innate gifts.  It is so tiresome and trite to see her portrayed as some lascivious, wanton, man-trap who sought no greater pleasure than getting the attention of a man, any and every man.   She was who she was, and looked how she looked.  It was always up to the viewer to process their own feelings and reactions to what they saw and learned about the person they were viewing. Good, bad or in-between NO ONE should be judged for their outward appearance. And one should thoughtfully consider and interpret their own reactions to what they see portrayed on a show such as 'Smash' or any of the other marginally well produced shows/movies/etc. based on or involved with our dear girl.

I realize I've gone off into a tangent about Marilyn and my deep respect for and devotion to the person, fellow woman/human being behind the glamorous facade. It's possible that anyone who shares shoes like mine, who has done the research, read the books, seen the movies/documentaries, etc. about Marilyn might react to this show in a similar way. They might not - I don't know. These are my reactions, interpretations and feelings. It's as simple as that and luckily there's a place like this for me to divulge what I feel and what I'm thinking about this situation. It's healthy and cathartic and perhaps helpful for me to be able to just unleash my thoughts into the ether and perhaps influence another to approach a subject for which they feel as much passion with as much respect and thought as I do my dear girl Marilyn.

Spicy Ginger Snaps

I loves me some Ginger Snaps & have developed quite a liking/addiction to Sprouts ginger snaps. I've demolished half a bag without even realizing how many I've eaten - in other words they're quite tasty (understatement - they're damn delicious!). They're crisp, spicy, perfectly sweet and are well complimented by an ice cold glass of milk, cup of tea or beer (yes, beer).


Being the industrious (ha ha) type I decided to make my own.  (click to follow link for some snappy commentary)

Marilyn Monroe Facebook

This is just wrong!

I can't stomach the Marilyn Monroe page on Facebook. There is nothing on this page but promotions, misquotes & misinformation. To say that I don't like the page is an understatement, it actually makes my skin crawl with revulsion. Whoever is writing on this Facebook wall needs to stop with the promotions, DO SOME RESEARCH (there's plenty of information out there - READ A BOOK!!!) and post information that Marilyn herself may have actually deemed worth of sharing!!! Ever hear of accountability and discretion, you slimy marketing, promo asshole (I'm pointing at you CMG, NBC (Smash - crap show) et al.)!

It's understandable that Facebook (and those who are promoted on the page) probably appreciate the attention a Marilyn Monroe page would get them. It's also VERY skeevy to allow the creation of a page under someone's name who isn't alive and obviously can't speak for themselves (including Elvis, Janis and anyone of the deceased persons who now have Facebook pages and who probably never would have created a Facebook page OUT OF PRINCIPLE and a desire for discretion and privacy!!!).

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a policy in place on Facebook discouraging the misappropriation of an identity (regardless of whether or not there's some type of celebrity status involved and the fact that it's obvious the name of the person on the page isn't actually them and/or posting thoughts this person probably never would have expressed on any public forum)?

To anyone who "likes" the page - Are you that much of a fair-weather, trend-riding friend/fan? Do you subsist on trends and hoping on the "I'm in the know about all things Marilyn" train? Are you that misinformed?

Let's visit and promote sites that pay due homage to Marilyn gracefully, factually and with intentions that thoughtfully respect her legacy and memory. Don't just say "I'm a fan and I love Marilyn." - MEAN IT!!! Pick up and read any of the hundreds of biographies available about our dear girl and acquire some in depth knowledge about the ACTUAL PERSON and fellow human being for whom you claim to have so much love and adoration. That goes for any of the other persons who now have Facebook pages, who are also deceased and can't speak for themselves.

Why?

Why are some people compelled to do loud mechanical work at 1030pm?

Do they think at all about the noise and how it affects anyone living within 10 feet of their house?

I'm sure I'm not the only one bothered by it, but things being as they are I'm disinclined to speak up.
Aaahh... glorious suburbia.
Wishing for private island...

Go here, See this.

Santorini, Greece

The One and Only

Photographer: Unknown

The One and Only

Photographer: John Vachon